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My top picks for a FAANG rename

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Joshua Goon2 minute read • 7 days ago

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The commonly used term, “FAANG” has quickly become outdated with the emergence of new tech giants. Here are my top picks for a long awaited and much needed “FAANG” rename.

GNARLY

😈

Google, Netflix, Amazon, Roblox, LinkedIn, Wa(y)mo

GNARLY is my top pick for a rename. Unfortunately, to make the acronym more appeasing Meta and Apple didn’t make the cut. However, we’ve introduced some intense competitors that are quickly overtaking the previous five.

MID-COMP

🤖

Microsoft, IBM, DeepMind, — C3.ai, OpenAI, Meta, Palantir

The MID-COMP acronym represents some of the leading companies in the Artificial Intelligence space. Fortunately, this acronym does not reflect on these companies as “mid” is a pretty inaccurate description for how much they’re compensating.

PLAN-B

♻️

Palantir, Lockheed Martin, Anduril, Northrop Grumman, — Boeing

The PLAN-B acronym represents the top tier defense companies. Its name, although could be mistaken for a contraceptive, is really representative of how these companies is who we will turn to if our current plan fails.

WASP

🐝

Waymo, Apple, Snapchat, Palantir

The WASP acronym has companies that are quite reflective of the attributes of wasps. Like wasps, these companies have aggressive and stinging interviews.

CANS

🥫

Clubhouse, Airbnb, Netflix, Snowflake

The CANS acronym consists of some of the highest paying Companies in this job market. Ironically, anyone hired at these companies will not be in the “cans”.


Well, thats it! Those were my top picks for a “FAANG” rename. If you have any suggestions, email them to faangrename@jgoon.com and I’ll consider how adding them if they’re goofy enough.



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